Many people would say that I cannot be objective about the issue of gay marriage. After all, my son is gay. These people would be both right and wrong. Yes, it is hard for me to be objective about anything that affects my children. I love them; I want them to be happy. What is also true, however, is that—like most people my age—I grew up seeing only men and women married to each other. No one ever told me marriage was between a man and a woman; they didn’t have to. It was unspoken verbally and completely obvious nonverbally. Somewhere in the forty years of my adult life, however, that picture began to change. I must admit, I did not flow gracefully with that change. I have never been hostile toward LGBT people (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender); my favorite uncle and godfather was a gay man, and I loved and respected him with all my heart. When I was told that he was homosexual, I didn’t care—nothing could have changed my feelings toward this man. But when I started to hear about men and women wanting to marry people of their same gender, I felt very uncomfortable. I didn’t judge this activity to be a sin; it just seemed wrong in some sense I couldn’t necessarily define.
When I was presented with the opportunity to write a research paper on any topic of my choosing, I chose to research gay marriage. I wanted to know more about this issue. I wanted to be able to present rational arguments to my son about why he should not expect to ever get married—why it would be okay to establish some other form of a committed, lifelong relationship. I embarked on the research project with a somewhat open mind, as I think any researcher should; but I leaned toward the idea that marriage had a specific meaning that should not be toyed with. After several months of research, I produced an essay that reported on the results of my study of the issue of gay marriage. I am no longer ambivalent; I am convinced that changing the legal definition of marriage as between “a man and a woman” to a social contract between “two consenting adults” is the right thing to do for many reasons. Those reasons are presented in the essay, which can be located online at the link below.
I fully support the right of any religious organization to define marriage in the way that is appropriate for them. Marriage, however, is not a purely religious ritual. In fact, religious ceremonies must be accompanied by a civil document—the marriage license—in order for the marriage to be legally recognized by others outside the religious group. This little piece of paper carries the full weight of the law; it bestows hundreds of legal and economic benefits to the two people whose names appear on it. Withholding the right to obtain a marriage license from couples who love each other and wish to establish a secure foundation in life is hurtful and, in many ways, harmful. I am fully convinced that gay marriage is good for society.
I hope that if you read the essay, you will do so with a somewhat open mind—that’s all I ask. Be aware that the paper is a bit long; however, each point is important and deserves consideration. The full academic essay can be located online at:
http://theantiochvoice.wordpress.com/2012/05/23/gay-marriage-is-good-for-society/
Pat Davis, RN, BA 